Before going into a tricky relationship conversation, do these two things

Lisa Gill
2 min readMar 27, 2022

Here are two tricks I’ve learned to help tricky relationship conversations go well.

In today’s increasingly complex world, we are more dependent on each other than ever. The more complexity there is, the more trust and openness is required in our relationships.

The good news is, we have the opportunity at even given moment to start to “produce” how we want our work relationships to be. We don’t need to be passive consumers of the ones that don’t work.

If you decide you want to upgrade one of your relationships, here are two preparatory steps to help that conversation go well.

#1: Check your purpose

My colleagues at Tuff have a mantra for this:

“Do you want to be right…or do you want to have a relationship?”

You can’t have both! :)

A robust purpose for this kind of conversation is: to have a better relationship.

#2: Check if you are resourced enough

Before you go into a tricky relationship conversation, author Alice Sheldon has a useful checklist to run though with yourself:

  • Am I insistent on getting my way?
  • Are my emotions in control of me?
  • Am I having judgemental thoughts?
  • Do I want to make the other person suffer?
  • Am I looking for them to fix my problems?
  • Am I short of time or energy?

The more ‘yeses’ you answer, the more this will affect your way of being, and the less likely the other person will be able to hear you or be open to creating a better relationship.

What relationships around you could do with an upgrade?

Remember these two ways to prepare, and good luck!

This post was created with Typeshare



Lisa Gill

Founder of Reimaginaire, trainer and coach with Tuff Leadership Training, host of Leadermorphosis podcast.